Surviving Infidelity: Strategies for Prioritizing Self-Care and Healing

Cheating is the worst thing you may encounter in your relationship. The fact that people have more chances to cheat these days worsens the situation. According to a study by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, approximately 25% of married men and 15% of married women have engaged in extramarital intimacy. The same study indicates that 70% of people who experienced infidelity ended up divorcing.

From shattering your self-worth to killing your confidence, infidelity can affect your mental health in many ways. Your physical health suffers due to constant stress, anxiety, and sadness. When dealing with the damage, you must prioritize self-care to heal and move forward. Remember that it is okay to be selfish when your partner hurts you, so you should do it without second thoughts. Here are a few proven tips for prioritizing yourself during this challenging time.

Focus on physical health

Physical health may be the last thing on your mind when dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression caused by a cheating partner. But these negative emotions can affect your health and immunity. You may even gain weight due to stress eating or lose it by skipping meals. Commit to physical health by eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity. Working out helps release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Adequate sleep reduces stress and keeps you energetic and motivated. Embracing a meditation routine is also an essential form of self-care that heals your body and mind.

Practice self-compassion

Facing infidelity may make you lose confidence as you feel you are not good enough. But remember that the cheating was your spouse’s choice and not your fault. Ditch the unnecessary guilt, and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would offer to a good friend in the same situation. It means acknowledging your emotions, being patient with yourself, and recognizing that you are not alone.

See a therapist

Self-care is not just embracing lifestyle changes and showing self-compassion. You may need professional support to overcome heavy emotions such as anger, depression, and anxiety. Some people experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to marital infidelity. Seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist can provide you with the necessary support to cope with your emotional burden. A study by the American Psychological Association shows that therapy is effective in treating infidelity-related trauma as it helps people regain a sense of control.

Confront your partner

A painful experience always requires closure if you want to move on without carrying the baggage. The best way to do it is by confronting your partner and venting your feelings. But you must have evidence to establish your arguments, even if it has to be a one-to-one conversation. You can hire a hacker for cell phone to get your spouse’s call records and emails without accessing their device physically. Having solid proof puts you in a good place during the confrontation. You can show the truth of every allegation you throw at your spouse, no matter how hard they try to defend it. 

Find a support system

Feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and isolated after going through infidelity is normal. It is a part of the healing process, but coping with these feelings is not easy. However, you need not struggle with them alone. Build a support system with family and friends who love and care for you. Maybe you have an best friend that you lost track of that you know would be an excellent support during this difficult time. If you need help locating them, you can always use tracing agents to help you find them. Friends and family can provide a sense of comfort and belonging during the tough phase. Most importantly, surrounding yourself with supportive people boosts your self-esteem and confidence.

Create personal boundaries

Marital infidelity shatters trust and faith in a relationship you believed the most. You cannot rebuild it soon, so set clear boundaries as a line of defense from further emotional harm. It may include setting expectations for your partner’s behavior and limiting communication. You may also consider a decision to try again or end your marriage with a divorce. Remember that it should be your choice, so do not let anyone coerce you into doing something you do not want. Setting boundaries is healthy as it helps you feel in control of your situation. 

Infidelity can be traumatic, and handling it is an emotionally challenging experience. But investing in self-care sets you on the road to healing. You should not feel guilty about ending the marriage or not giving your best to your children. The daunting phase requires looking after yourself more than anything or anyone else. So you must pick up your life and start afresh by following these self-care strategies.