How To Become an Exceptional Parent

From changing diapers to waking up in the middle of the night and tending to your crying child, parenting can be hard, and it only gets harder as your child grows up. You may constantly find yourself in difficult situations as your kid’s mood swings like a pendulum. One second they are happy and content, and the very next second, they’re throwing a tantrum and screaming. So how do you keep up with the challenges of parenthood? What steps do you need to take to become an exceptional parent and provide the best environment for your offspring to thrive? Here are a few tips to help you out.

Become a good role model

Actions speak louder than words! Thus, instead of focusing on telling your children what is right and what isn’t, teach them through your actions.

It is human nature to imitate what you see around yourself. It is innately programmed into us to copy the actions of others and follow them. This especially applies to children as they idealize their parents and watch everything they do with the utmost attention.

Hence, you must become the person you want your child to grow into. Respect them and teach them through your positive behavior and empathy. Moreover, make a conscious effort to be vigilant about your behavior in front of them and focus on setting the right examples.

Understand your child’s needs

The needs of a child changes throughout their life. Becoming a perfect parent, or at least getting as close to it as possible, requires you to understand these changing needs and respond to them accordingly. For this, you will need to know the stages of human development that define children’s psychosocial growth. For example, during infancy, your child will learn to trust you based on how well you respond to their crying and needs. Then, during toddlerhood, they will learn to become independent and confident, or dependent and timid, and so on.

These stages cover everything there is to know about a child’s changing psychological and emotional needs from infancy to adulthood. They will help you create the right environment for your child to thrive.

Love them unconditionally

Although you may think loving your child too much will spoil them, this could not be further from the truth. Most people associate loving your children too much with material indulgence, over-protection, leniency, and low expectations. But this is not real love. Real love is showing affection through hugs, kisses, kind words, and empathy.

Spend quality time with your children, listen to everything they say with attention, and treat them with compassion. Such acts of love trigger an increase in the levels of hormones like oxytocin, which are feel-good neurochemicals. They will produce feelings of calm, contentment, and emotional warmth in your child.

Create positive experiences

Babies have 100 billion brain cells with considerably fewer connections at the time of their birth. These connections are responsible for creating our thoughts, shaping our personalities, influencing our actions, and determining the kind of person we are. These connections grow with us as we grow, and they are created and sculpted through our experiences.

Providing a positive environment for your child will make them capable of experiencing positive experiences. On the other hand, negative experiences will negatively influence your child, and they will not be able to thrive, according to the Feelings Detective, a licensed professional counselor with years of experience working with children and families. Eat meals together, sing silly songs, giggle at jokes, play your child’s favorite game, and give them proper attention. Instead of ignoring their tantrums, ride through them with your toddler. Solve problems with them with positive attitudes and watch them grow into a positive person.

Practice positive discipline

Remaining positive when your child steals, screams, breaks your favorite vase, or displays problematic behavior may seem hard. But you must keep calm and use positive discipline instead of harsh discipline.

The golden rule of positive discipline is setting limits and showing consistency. You must be firm and kind when setting rules and enforcing them. Instead of screaming at your child, figure out the reason behind their bad behavior. Turn their mistakes into opportunities of learning for the future positively rather than turning them into punishments.

Sometimes, your child will continue screaming and throwing tantrums. What do you do in such a situation? Ignore them, punish them, take away their things? Well, none of that! Instead, connect with them and help them self-regulate and control their emotions. Do not view tantrums as manipulative behavior. Rather, treat them as your child getting overwhelmed by too many emotions.

Have a flexible parenting style

You may constantly feel that your child’s behavior is letting you down. However, the reason for this could be your unrealistic expectations. Do not think in terms of ‘should’- “My child should eat by himself now,” “My child should sleep on his own now,” etcetera. Instead, give them time, talk to them, and if nothing works out, consider talking to a child development specialist. Do not get angry or disappointed in your child.

Your child’s behavior also varies with their environment. Thus, you can change their behavior by changing their environment. If your child is in their terrible twos and you’re constantly saying no to them, reduce off-limit things from your environment and replace them with better options. This will help decrease both your child and your frustration!

Also, remember that your parenting style will also have to change as kids grow. What works now may not work well after a year or two. So be flexible and change your parenting style to match your child’s needs. Provide guidance and encouragement throughout their life and utilize every opportunity to connect with them.

Boost their self-esteem

Kids see themselves through the eyes of their parents. They are in constant need of your approval and praise. The way you talk to them- your expressions and your body language- make a difference to your child. Thus, their self-esteem completely depends upon your actions and words.

Do your best to boost your child’s self-confidence. Praise their accomplishments, regardless of how small they are. Make them feel proud and let them do things independently. This will nurture them into becoming confident individuals who are strong and capable. On the other hand, your harsh, belittling comments and constant comparing to other children may make your child feel worthless and lower their self-esteem.

Avoid making use of words as weapons. Comments like “Why aren’t you as smart as your younger brother” or “That was a very stupid thing to do” will cause emotional damage. Constantly remind yourself to use compassionate words. Let your kids know you love them even when they mess up. After all, there’s nothing a heart-felt apology can’t fix.

Conclusion

No one said parenting is easy. Regardless of all your efforts, you may find yourself in a sticky situation with your child. Remember that you are doing your best, and don’t be too hard on yourself! Take a break, breathe deeply, and pat yourself on the back for all the great things you do.

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