What’s Hidden Behind Facebook

Real Life Behind the Facebook Posts

Joining facebook years ago took a little encouragement from friends and family. I was not too big on the social media kick but I gave in. Shortly after being on facebook, I started enjoying the fact that I could share pictures and see pictures of friends and family from all over the world. However, I wish I had learned much sooner how serious of an epidemic facebook and other social media would eventually create. 

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I am by no means against social media. In fact, I love it. I can’t imagine NOT being able to see pictures of my cousins serving as missionaries in Africa, posts about what my cousins in California are up to etc. Facebook helps create a way to stay connected even hundreds of miles away!

I spent years seeing how perfect everyone’s lives are, how involved all the other moms are with their children, how happy and well-behaved children everyone seems to have, and the list goes on and on. I looked at myself as a COMPLETE FAILURE in life. My house was never clean like all the other houses looked in their pictures. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do everything all the other facebook moms were doing. My kids fought every day. I couldn’t go out in public without a meltdown from my youngest. I felt out of control, inadequate, lonely and failing at everything I did.

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Depression Set In

Comparing myself to others became a normal routine. I would tell my husband that I was not as pretty as this person, as friendly as that person, I was a terrible mom, my kids hated me, etc. 

When I was admitted to the hospital for serious depression, I had a lot of time of analyzing my life. One thing I realized is that a lot of those happy people on facebook are also “failures”, unhappy, depressed etc. No one lives that perfect happy, perfect life that is shown through social media. 

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Life Is NEVER Perfect

No one wants people to see their faults and failures so, of course, why would they post pictures showing it? All we see on social media is the best in everyone’s lives. I learned a valuable lesson through my depression. LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT. 

I have seen people who one day posted about how much they loved their family, how blessed they were, how happy they were and then the next day find out they committed suicide. Everyone just assumed they had it all together and were happy with their lives. No one reached out to them because no one had a clue how depressed they really were.

For the longest time, I hid my depression. It was easy because I wanted people to think I was ok! I wanted them to think I was the perfect person facebook portrays. But behind the many many smiles was absolute brokenness. 

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What I Learned About Facebook Through My Depression

Again, I am not against social media but I have learned to take the time to not only see the perfect lives shown on facebook but I see the hurt behind the smiles. I send more private messages trying to encourage others. 

Always remember that there is more hurt that you will EVER see. There are more tantrums, more talking back, more disobedience than other moms post about on facebook. Husbands and wives DO have disagreements. Husbands are NOT always bringing flowers. Dishes will be in the sink. Laundry will pile up. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You are NORMAL!!!

13 thoughts on “What’s Hidden Behind Facebook

  1. So true, Amy. Women are so guilty of comparing ourselves to others, especially preachers’ wives. God made us like we are for a specific purpose. We should never allow ourselves to feel inadequate, but we should always strive to be the best “us” we can be.

  2. Love you so much Amy for being such a strong role model for me. Wish I could do as much as you do for your family, friends, and church❤

  3. I mentioned to a friend how amazing her life was (based on FB posts). She laughed and said that was all for show, that she spent most nights home alone and worried about money, etc.. She explained that since a few people on FB were clients of her business or people that could possibly give her work, she needed it to show only “the good parts”.

  4. Very true. I have a friend that had to completely remove herself from Facebook because she was always comparing herself to her friends “perfect lives.” No matter what we would say to her, she was convinced everything on Facebook was real. She became very depressed & eventually had to get some help.

  5. Thanks for being so honest. with filters and delete buttons and apps, people can have such amazing lives! It’s important to limit online time for adults and especially our kids who are even more at risk to this! Exposing them and us to true reality is the only cure to keep proper perspective of what really is true and achievable! I celebrate with those who have successes and mourn with those who have tragedies but i stop when i try to compare their life to mine because i’m different- glory be to God!!

  6. Thank you for sharing this.
    I have often taken breaks from social media and felt my anxiety and stress decrease in doing so.
    It’s so important to be thankful for who you are and what you have and trust your journey.

  7. I agree that LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT. I try not to think everyone else has it better then me and I do not believe all the happy photos that I see on Facebook. I won’t post any photos, I am more of a private person.

  8. Good to take breaks from social media especially in nice weather. Go out hiking or camping. Nature helps.

  9. We can’t compare others highlight reel on Facebook to our behind the scenes! It’s just not realistic! Love yourself always!

  10. I belong to a lot of sub sites on Facebook to help with a lot of issues.Also play Bingo and Puzzled Hearts.If there is drama from anyone on there that I know,I do read it,think it over,and if necessary delete these people.

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