This post is sponsored by Cord Blood Registry ® (CBR ®), but the opinions expressed here are my own.
One Thing I Wished I Had Done Differently With Open Adoption
Adoption can be a scary thing for a lot of reasons. Although the benefits are GREAT, there are fears. Fears of the birth parents changing their mind are the initial fear most adoptive parents have. During the preliminary process, the birth, and the days after, adoptive parents minds are on all the fears of the unknown of the right then and now. Often, looking down the road at the possible obstacles that adoption can have is not on the brain until after the relinquishments are signed and the waiting period is over. I have ONE thing that I would have done differently with my boy’s adoptions.
Adoption is not for the weak at heart. I know this because we live it. I love my children more than they know and the blessing of adoption really is a blessing to both us AND the kids. Along with the blessing comes hard conversations. Adopted children have their own fair share of questions about their identity that we as parents are to help guide them through. This in itself is one big reason we chose open adoption for both of our boys. My daughter is a different story.
There are many things that affect your life for the good or the bad but some days make an unforgettable change. The kind of change that you will look back on every single year and say “WOW, what a great day that was” or “What a terrible day that was!” We have had three different occasions that I can specifically look back on and say “WOW!”. Three years ago today was one of those moments. At the time, I did not realize how incredibly significant this day would be.
As I sit in a hospital room typing this, I am unable to access facebook for some reason. I planned on added many more photos but will have to update another time.
Fears become real when the words “home study” are mentioned. Probably the top two questions that we are asked by those who are looking to adopt that know we have adopted are, “What is the home study like?” and ” What if we don’t pass?”. I am going to go over our experience. I will give you an insight to our home studies with three different home studies (actually four for three children… I will explain more on that later), two different agencies, and three different social workers.
Educating your family is the most important piece when you are adopting. Keeping an open conversation with thoughts, concerns, and questions are needed. Adoption should never be a “taboo” subject considering it isn’t something to be ashamed of. We had and still have the policy with our family and even friends that they can ask any and all questions to help educate themselves better about adoption. Educating equals less fears. Here is a word from both my mom and my husband’s mom pertaining to adoption.