Building Confidence in Children – Letting Children Struggle Builds Confidence Amy Smith, February 6, 2022February 3, 2022 Building Confidence in Children – Why Should Children Struggle in Life? One of the hardest things for a loving, caring parent is to watch their children struggle. Watching them struggle physically or emotionally can be just enough to grab at any mom or dad’s heart strings. Most of the time, that is when we, as parents, need to keep from letting our emotions take over. A few years ago, I took my son who was 10-years-old at the time to the home of a lady from our church. They had hired him to mow their grass for them so he could have some spending money on a vacation we were about to take. It was the first time that he had ever used a push mower. To be honest, I was a little unsure how he would do. He was a little small for 10 years old. Strong as can be but small in stature. When we arrived at their house, I was feeling a little nervous (he was, too). I showed him how to start the push mower, explained the basics of cutting grass, and then I did the first strip of grass to show him how to push it as well as how to turn it around to go down the next strip of grass. He took over from there. Helping our Children Gain Confidence Within a few minutes, the nerves had settled and both of us were confident in what he was doing. At one point, he looked at me smiling saying, “I can’t stop smiling, this is so much fun!” The smile over time turned to a sweaty, exhausted straight face. It had gotten hotter, he was getting tired, his hair was soaked with sweat, and he was no longer standing up straight but instead leaned far forward towards the lawn mower that seemed to weigh 500lbs to my little 67lb son. I saw him struggling. I wanted to tell him, “I will finish it for you!”. I didn’t. I just kept watching and encouraging him as he grew more and more tired. He wasn’t complaining. He knew he was getting paid for it and I had told him before we even got there that I better not hear any complaining no matter how hard it was. I could just tell by the look on his face that he was struggling. Not only did he do a fantastic job, but he COMPLETED the job. All. By. Himself. If I had let my mamma bear emotions act, he would never have had the satisfaction of completing the job. He needed to struggle a little. Why? Because it showed him that even though it may have been tough, he COULD do it and he DID do it! Building confidence in children can be hard but so so worth it! When we got back in the car he said with confidence, “MAN, I am HOT but I did it by myself, Mom!!!”. If I had jumped in and helped him complete it, he could not have completed that sentence. He would have only been able to complain about how hot and how hard it was. Instead, he had already forgotten how hard it had gotten there for a while. He called my husband and my mom to tell them how he was able to do it by himself! All too often, as parents, we don’t want things to be hard for our kids. It could be chores, schoolwork, or even dealing with life’s problems. Most of the time, it needs to be hard for them. As parents, our job is to teach them how to do it, give them some tips if we see an easier way to do it, and then be their biggest fan! Tough Moments – Building Confidence in Children Those tough moments builds confidence but it also shows children that they can’t just do something and quit when it gets hard. To get the job done, they have to push past the hard times! If you are constantly saving them from having to complete hard tasks, you are creating a poor employee for their future boss. Are you instilling a good work ethic in your children or are you letting your emotions get in the way?! Are you helping build confidence in children or encouraging laziness? Are you instilling a good work ethic in your children or are you letting your emotions get in the way?! Let your children struggle a little… it will be worth it in the end! Connect with My Four and More on Social Media! FACEBOOK | TWITTER | YOUTUBE | INSTAGRAM | PINTEREST Share on FacebookTweetFollow usSave Articles Encourage My Heart Parenting Tips building confidencechildrenchildren struggleconfidencelazylessonsraising kidsself-confidencestrugglework ethic
I’m the lady who’s yard he mowed. I’m very proud of what he did. And his Mom who did let him do it. And that they are teaching their children responsibility.