Being Still is NOT My Personality
For those who don’t know me, I am one of those who usually has a daily list longer than time would allow within 24 hours. I stay up at all hours of the night to finish my list. If I don’t have something to get done, I make up stuff that I FEEL NEEDS to be done.
Thank you, Torrence Photography for the beautiful photos!
Learning to be Still
I am one of those who decides that our bedroom needs to be painted and doesn’t stop even when it is 2 am because it is on my to-do’s. I can’t sleep until it is complete. Yes, I am told ALL the time to slow down and find a way to use the word “NO” more often. That is just not ME.
I go until I physically can’t go anymore, then I go a little more before stopping. I like having a perfectly clean house and never feel it can get clean enough. So, you can imagine what I felt when I found out that I was going to be having surgery on my ankle to repair tendons.
I had NO CLUE at the time how extensive this surgery would wind up being. After surgery, I was told that I was not allowed to put ANY weight on it for a full 4 weeks!?!? Then, another 4-6 weeks of using crutches. WHAT?!?!?! NO. WAY. How could I EVER do THAT? I am a mom, a wife, a youth pastor’s wife, a blogger, a maid and a chef. There was just NO way! I just CAN’T BE STILL that long!
When We Have No Choice BUT to BE STILL
Well, sometimes in life, we have no choice. This was one of those times. There was no way around it since the tendon that was completely torn was in an area that would not repair itself.
The pain was terrible for the first couple weeks. Ok, so unbearable. I take very little medicines after some horrible reactions I went through this past year. It was the longest 2 weeks EVER. Then, I had 2 weeks of feeling bad but “ok”. As I have recuperated, being still has tried to destroy me.
At times, the feelings of being worthless, the loneliness that sets in from being stuck inside on a couch at all times, the fact that one of our families most special times (dinner around the kitchen table together every night) I couldn’t even take part in. It took a toll on me physically AND emotionally.
I am finally able to get out. I am finally able to be around people again. Since I am still not allowed to put full weight on my foot, I have to rely on crutches. Have you ever been on crutches and tried to carry anything?! Yeah, it doesn’t work out too well. So, I still can’t cook or clean. I am eager to get back on my feet again.
The Blessings That Come From Being Still
It has NOT been an easy thing but God has been teaching me through it all how being still can be just as important as completing all the made up tasks each day. I have been able to spend time on the more important things in life like talking with people who have been seriously struggling with depression, I have been able to snuggle more with my kids… a LOT more, AND more time praying and relying on God to take care of my every need.
It isn’t easy being still but there are blessings that I have gotten to see that I would have normally missed from being busy scrubbing floors, reorganizing closets, etc. Now, don’t come to my house and expect to see it clean. It is actually probably the dirtiest it has been since we have moved here but even if I spent all day cleaning, it would be a mess by tomorrow. That is just what happens when you have kids.
Check out more photos from Torrence Photography HERE
The Busy BEE
This time of year, I do not even have to look outside to see the pollen covering everything to KNOW there is pollen. Sneezing, itching, you name it… allergies are a pain. Too often, i only look at the frustration of the allergy symptoms I have to deal with because of the pollen. When I am still enough, I can see the bee working hard, shaking up all that pollen which in turn makes the beautiful flowers. Slowing down lets me see the beauty not the burden of the pollen!
Be still. See what else God may want you to do other than make list after list of things YOU feel are important. Most of the time, when you are the stillest, you learn the most and have the chance to observe all the beauty around you that you would typically miss from the craziness of life. Life here on Earth only happens ONCE so SOAK IT UP! Enjoy the important aspects of life. BE STILL.
Psalm 46:10 – Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exhalted among the heathens, I will be exhalted in the earth.