Happily Ever AFTER Beginning

We all know the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming. They were PERFECT for each other! I mean, seriously, the man fell head over heels for this girl with a simple dance. It was the most perfect of fairy tales. A sweet, hard-working, and the absolutely gorgeous girl finds her perfect man. He was a man who had it all… a handsome, loving Prince who searched after her. Wow, could it get any more perfect than that?! If you asked me of a story with a “happily ever after”, Cinderella is the first to come to mind. But, what about the rest of the story?

All of us who have sat watching Cinderella have left thinking “what a perfect ending”. Really, it is not the ending. It is just the beginning.

Cinderella’s happy ending starts and ends with Prince Charming knowing very little about her. I am guessing she must have been wearing some pheromones for women on that day to get Prince Charming’s attention the way she did! Here you have a girl who has spent many nights dreaming of how perfect her husband will be. Boy, was he not PERFECT?!

Personally, I don’t think he was all that perfect. In her eyes, she was so blinded by love that all she saw was the most perfect human that she had ever laid eyes on. He was her world and she was his. Sure, he was handsome, a gentleman, and RICH! Have you ever thought about the fact that he sent someone else to look for her after the ball? That right there shows a flaw in him. That man should have been on the hunt, himself, to find his love!

Prince Charming didn’t know Cinderella’s genuine struggles. He was also blinded to her past, her imperfections, and what made her, HER! Think about all the baggage that Cinderella came with. Although she is what seems to be a genuinely good girl, having a home life such as hers had to leave her with some scars. I can tell that it left her with insecurities. She felt she had to hurry up and leave the man of her dreams because he might not like her if he saw her the way she truly was. She knew that at the stroke of midnight her “perfect look” would be gone. The real Cinderella would stand out in ways she felt would disgust everyone at the castle. It would especially turn the head the other away of her one true love! She did not feel that this man would accept her and still love her with ragged clothes and no stagecoach.

There is no way that he had a chance to truly know Cinderella inside and out before there was “happily ever after”. Maybe it should be called “Happily Ever Beginning” instead. You see, there is no true “Happily Ever After”. Relationships and especially marriages come with all sorts of struggles. Often, we have the mindset of these perfect fairy tales from our childhood.

Love comes with a cost. Cinderella had to adjust to her new life. She had to go from rags to riches. Sound great to me! That probably sounds great to you too but regardless if it is a good or a bad change, change can be difficult. She had to adjust to the fact that Prince Charming was not going to see her at her best ALL THE TIME! She had to know that he would see her bed head hair, he would smell her stinky breath first thing in the morning, he wouldn’t always see her in a beautiful ball gown but instead, he would see her in her ragged cleaning clothes at times as well. Eventually, he would begin to notice the effects her stepmother and stepsisters had on her mind for all the years prior to their meeting. Anytime you intertwine two people with two different characteristics and backgrounds, there are bound to be struggles and disagreements.

She would find that sometimes his royal duties put a strain on her. What seemed like a perfect life would also be a difficult life with the many pressures of feeling the need to be perfect in such a high position. The days of lounging around in comfortable clothing were now over now that she had become a royal princess. The demands of wearing fancy clothing had begun even on days that she just wanted to be comfortable instead of just “pretty”.

Marriage is far different than dating. No matter how much time you spend together while dating, you will just be scratching the surface of your true love’s imperfections. Does that mean you should never get married?! No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. Just know that happy ever beginnings can still be a happily ever after but there is a lot of work and a lot of acceptance that needs to take place within a relationship to truly have a “happily ever after”. It sure isn’t as easy as the fairytales portray! Spending time focusing on imperfections won’t lead to a happily ever after.

We often set high expectations of our “Happily Ever After” scene. When the scene turns out to have some hidden scenes, we want to throw in the towel and start a new story. The reality is, there are hidden scenes behind every true love story. They are dark, scary scenes that every relationship has… you just have to choose to make sure that isn’t the focus of the “movie”.

If the “happily ever beginning” had never occurred, you probably wouldn’t have found enough of a reason to marry your spouse, to begin with. You fell in love with them for a reason. Always make sure you consider that although your spouse has imperfections that may drive you insane…. they are also seeing all of YOUR imperfections. The fairytale ending isn’t based solely on the beginning… It’s based on the “right now”. You can choose to look past the imperfections or you can choose to dwell on them. Your choice is what makes it a “Happily Ever After Tale” or a “Tragic Ending”. How will YOUR fairytale end?

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