How To Prevent a Disastrous Divorce
Anytime the subject of divorce comes up in conversation, it seems that things immediately turn to how nasty and combative such matters can be. While it’s true that many divorces wind up being disastrous and highly toxic matters, those are also the kind of marital splits that get people talking. Yours doesn’t have to be that way if you know how to prevent a disastrous divorce.
Keep Your Cool During the First Conversation
The process of divorce starts with one of the two partners bringing up the suggestion or stating their desire for it. If you are the one initiating it, never do it in a heated or angry moment. You need to stay as calm as possible in this conversation. The tone of it often sets the stage for the rest of the process.
While hard, the first conversation is a necessary step. Do what you can to prepare. If you need to, have a list of reasons, or a pros and cons list. Just don’t read it out to them during the conversation, as that could feel like an attack.
Settle All You Can Outside the Courtroom
Working with the right family law office can mean sitting down with legal professionals used to dealing with divorces and working out a settlement amongst yourselves instead of having a judge decide your future. Courts are likely to ask you to try this at least once before they step in.
Create a document to outline what you decide to do with your stuff. An even split of possessions isn’t always possible. So make a list, and talk about who gets what, and if you have any disagreements, make a mark on the list. Then if you need to settle in a court, you can have a list of things you need to discuss. Make sure that you both sign and date the document for your protection.
Compromise is key to a smooth divorce that everyone can live with. Get to know the priorities of your partner, and figure out what yours are, too. You might find there are quite a few things you can give them that don’t really mean giving anything up on your side. Working together like this might be the biggest part of a smooth separation.
Take Care of Yourself
Create time and private space where you can take care of yourself during this very stressful time. Identify people you can rely on right now. Having a support network can help you maintain emotional balance. Divorce is a hard prospect for many and there is no shame in seeking help. Don’t be afraid to seek a therapist to help you unpack and understand the situation.
Look Past the Horizon
If you want a divorce to go off the rails, throw yourself into a tug of war over who gets what and play the blame game about who is responsible for the marriage falling apart. The better move is to look past the divorce and start seeing the kind of future you’d like to create for yourself after all this is over. Life will likely be much better on the other side of this ordeal. But keep in mind that this divorce could affect you for the rest of your life. So make careful, thoughtful decisions.
No matter how hard you fight to preserve your marriage, it might still come to an end. Still, the divorce doesn’t have to be disastrous. Knowing how to prevent your divorce from being a disaster makes things easier for you and, hopefully, all other parties involved. You never know, you may look back at this moment and feel good.