Dating has become so choreographed in the last few years because it has become more difficult to find the perfect mate. There are still some things we do that is more old school and perhaps we should go back and get some tips from people older than us. I can already hearing the young people telling that that is completely unacceptable, but maybe they know something we don’t. For now, let’s look at what is expected in this new age when it comes to going on your first date.
Dinner and a movie is somewhat of a traditional first date for many, but it can be a bit awkward if you are getting to know someone. Sitting across the table from someone you barely know can leave you with silent moments that can really ruin a perfectly planned first date.
Instead, consider doing something unconventional like going to the museum, ten-pin bowling or a trip to the zoo. These are all good first dates because you can still talk, but you are also able to see the person out in a social environment. When you date someone, these are all things you will probably naturally do together, so why not start now and see if you are a good match.
You cannot simply rely on your charm and good looks forever and might have to say a word of two to make an impression. The worst sentences on the date would probably include anything sexual or over focusing on anything physical. If you have no idea what to say, draw up a list of things you would like to talk about. If you are really serious about making an impression on this person, go as far as checking sentence structure. It may sound crazy, but love is a crazy thing.
Speak about things that matters to you and you will soon see what you have in common through the conversation. Be light-hearted in your conversation and throw in a joke or two if you are feeling adventurous. Be yourself when you speak unless you plan to not be yourself throughout the relationship, which could become tasking.
One of the most important aspects of a first date is to listen to what the other person has to say. The conversation needs to obviously be free flowing, but when the other person speaks, pay attention and ask follow up questions to show you are paying attention. Remember, this is not an interrogation but rather a conversation between two people. Don’t be nervous that you will ask the wrong questions because the right person would probably be as nervous as you are.
You also don’t want to come across as too deeply into the person on your first date. Focus your questions on what she is comfortable sharing with you. If you feed off what they are already saying, you can keep the conversation alive. By listening to what is shared from their side, you can pick up on how far you can take the conversation. Also try and remember as much of what is said for follow up dates.
It’s just a date
Try your best to remember that a first date is just that. It does not need to be overwhelming for you to the point where you can hardly breathe. Everyone has some level of nervousness on the first date, but it should not overwhelm or consume you before it even happens. Go there as yourself and when you get there don’t all of a sudden transform into this person you don’t even recognise.
You also don’t want to go over the top and get yourself into debt for the sake of the first date. Do what you can and the right person will appreciate what you’ve been able to do. If this turns into a relationship, you want them to know exactly where you are at in life and what you are willing to invest in them. Money is not the only investment that seals a relationship, but rather the fact that you’ve tried and that you care.
The first date is important to a degree but if you are with the person you want a relationship with, it should be a natural and beautiful experience. Both parties wants it to be pleasant, otherwise they wouldn’t be on the date. Instead of being a nervous wreck, go into it with a clear mind and enjoy every minute of it.