Father to the Fatherless – Adoption Story
Written by my cousin, Rebecca Rhea
The beginning of life for me was far from perfect. My birth-mother realized before I was born that she would not be able to keep me, so she did what many people do and decided to put me up for adoption. This seemed to be the best solution at the time and would prove to be God’s plan for my life.
My adoptive parents decided to tell me the truth about my background all along, or as much as they knew. I was told from the beginning that I had been adopted. “You are special because we didn’t just have you, we picked you out,” my mother would tell me. As far back as I can remember, my parents felt it best that I know the truth; after all, there was nothing to hide. Hiding the fact would only make me feel that there was something wrong with being adopted. The truth will eventually emerge to the surface and wouldn’t you, as the parent, rather it come from you?
My parents were married for several years and finally came to the conclusion that they weren’t going to have any children of their own unless they were to adopt. They first adopted my older brother who was from another family in the Chicago area. He was the youngest of five children, whose mother was unable to care for him and chose to give him up for adoption right from the hospital. This was called the “Grey Market” only because they didn’t go through an agency to adopt. I have known many people who adopted just by “word of mouth.”
My mother received the call one day that if they wanted a baby, they had better get over to the hospital and pick him up. His mother couldn’t take care of him and the nurses told my parents that due to his small size (a little over 4 pounds), they could take better care of him at home than what he was getting at the understaffed hospital. They had none of the things necessary to care for an infant except the most important of all, love. They made a quick trip to the store for diaper, pins, t-shirts, bottles, and were also blessed by friends who gave them some items that their baby had outgrown.
After my parents took my brother home, they were told that at any moment they could get a knock on their door and a member of my brother’s biological family could take him back. This could go on for a year from the day they brought him home. His birth-mother would not show up for court to sign any of the paperwork that would give the legal custody. This left my parents an emotional mess for months. Every time the doorbell rang, they cringed. Needless to say, nobody came for my brother and they were able to live in peace with their new baby boy.
When my brother was four years old, my parents decided that they would adopt again but this time they went through an adoption agency in Chicago. I was later told that my brother “picked me out.” My parents took me home when I was three months old from a foundling home in Chicago.
Later in life, I was blessed to meet my birth-mother and found out details about the situation. She was a young single woman who had realized that my life would be much better in a stable home with two parents to love me and provide for me. She had gone to the home in Chicago when she was five months along in her pregnancy. Her family had no idea what was going on, except her mother. Her mother had helped arrange everything with the founding home and kept it a secret, acting like she was at distant relatives for the next few months.
When it was time for my birth-mother to deliver, she went across the street to the hospital to have me. When we met, she had told me that there had already been a family set up to adopt me before I was born. I guess the Lord had different plans for me because my adoptive parents didn’t come into the picture until I was already three months old.
I was adopted into a wonderful Christian home. My parents taught me through example how good God truly is and about His faithfulness to us. I often think of the verse in the Bible that states:
For you did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret and intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery.] Your eyes saw my unformed substance and in Your book all the days of my life were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them. How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
God is so good! I am in my fifties now and have five beautiful children, another that we are trying to adopt and four grandbaby girls. I have seen the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord in and through my life and the lives of our children. I praise Him for His grace when I was in the womb, His loving kindness when I was without an earthly father of my own, and His great plan to bless me through the years and prove His faithfulness over and over from generation to generation!
National Adoption Month…
This month, come back each day to read a little more about adoption. I will be sharing stories about our experiences and even have some guest writers who have experienced adoption from all different aspects! I hope to not only bring you “stories” but I hope that you can walk away saying that you are far more educated about adoption. Please be respectful of any comments made below. Remember that not every story is the same and there ARE some out there hurting because of adoption.
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