Lazy Kids While Mom Runs Ragged
Busy. The story of my life! Unfortunately, something I have seen in my life and the lives of many other busy mom’s lives are lazy kids! How in the world can children be so lazy with a mom who is non-stop busy keeping the house clean, laundry caught up, running kids everywhere, cooking meals, and so much more!?!?
Us moms are just too busy and it is sad to say, we encourage our kids to be lazy. No, we do not intentionally TRY making out kids lazy. It’s actually quite opposite. I really hope that my kids have a strong work ethic when they are grown. There is the problem. I stay far too busy to take the time to teach them what they need to learn to help more around the house yet I expect them to grow up with a strong work ethic. Shouldn’t they have one of those NOW? I’m so guilty! I can’t be the only one who has struggled with this!
Over the years, I have really struggled with distributing the housework between all members of the family. I mean, it is just easier to not have to take the time out to explain it, show them how it is done, and then more than likely have to go back over it because it hadn’t been done as well as I would have done. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I have kicked myself for being too busy to teach my kids a strong work ethic. I guess I just assumed that it would naturally come to them. Things have been changing around the Smith house the last few months. I would like to share with you what seems to be working well.
Bad habits are hard to break!!
I learned the hard way of how to break the vicious cycle. It is still a work in progress for sure but we have come a long way. It wasn’t until I broke down last year. There was a lot involved with that but one of the things that I know contributed in a big way was how extremely overwhelmed I stayed due to me trying to do everything myself. Time finally caught up and I realized I could NOT do everything myself!
- I have learned I have to be ok with imperfection. I want them to do their best but I have given up on everything having to be perfect. Attitude while doing the chore has become far more important than the perfection of the chore.
- Something I make sure I do is make a chore list each night for the next day. That way, I am not in the “got to get it done NOW” mindset. Once I get in that mindset, I HAVE to get everything done myself because I just want it DONE and don’t want to have to wait on them to complete a job. I try to make sure I make the list when I have fizzled out a little energy wise and realize I need the help… and THEY need to BE a help! Their spouses will thank me one day!
- At our house, electronics are taken before bed. The kids already know they have to be turned in so we made the deal that they so not get them back until all chores are done and done correctly. It’s amazing what a child will do when they are anxious to get a device back!!
- Stop assuming that your busyness will just rub off on them. Children have to be MADE to do the work and eventually that will get easier. We are several months into this “adding responsibility” thing and we have had less and less conflict over chore time than we use to. Children come to think they deserve everything. As parents, it’s a hard job but an inevitable job (If we want to raise hard working human beings).
- Take 5-10 minutes each day at the beginning of chore time to teach your child a new thing or help them master something. My four year old can fold towels and even t-shirts all by herself. I had to take some time to teach her but, WOW, has it helped me now that she knows how!
Mom, it is not all your job. Of course, parents should have the larger responsibilities but children need to be expected to put in their fair share. Mom, you may not want to take the time out to show your child 4xs how to fold a towel only to still have a wadded up towel under the bathroom sink. It is OK though. The time you spend at first on training your children will pay off when they begin to fold an entire load of towels without your assistance shortly after. Think of the time that would cut out for you!
It does take time and work to teach a child how to do chores. “Train up a child” is not just in spiritual things but also in life skills.
Hopefully they will thank you when they are adults. Maybe even their spouse will thank you!
Kudos to you for doing this! I’m all for teaching children how to do chores and basic life skills. It shows responsibility and will help them when they get older. My two teen sons are amazing cooks and cleaners, and they do it all without asking. It takes time but is so worth it to see that kids can do things by themselves. It’s rewarding to parents and to the kids.
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