Why Does It Have to Be So Hard Being a 12 year old

Parenting a 12 Year Old is Challenging

Twelve. We now have a twelve-year-old. This is our second experience with having a twelve-year-old and, oh boy, is it a hard year! Looking back, it was a hard year for me. For kids, it seems as though they are always entering a “new phase” from the time they are born until they graduate. Then the phases seem to have wider gaps between them. Each phase comes with new challenges for both the parent and the child. So, why IS twelve such a difficult year for kids? I am going to give you my reasons and what I learned from my now 16-year-old through his twelfth year. 

12 year old

12 Year Old Life is Hard

Twelve is the age where kids become more aware of who they are. Seeing their own faults and noticing features like their weight, their style, and even their personality begins. They are critical of themselves and, in turn, critical of others. They are trying to cover up their insecurities by picking on other kids. Most children are eleven when they enter the 6th grade. At first, fear of being in a new school for middle school keeps them out of trouble but then they quickly become more comfortable in the school and begin to try to impress the older kids. Jabs at their classmates begin… usually around the age of 12. 

Hormones are kicking in all at the same time. Outbursts from the typically calm, cool, and collect child start happening at home. The combination of all the crazy feelings that happen can throw your child into acting like a child you don’t even recognize when hormones first start changing, the need for feeling accepted begins, the struggles of beginning a new school have set in, and the switch from child to teen has begun. 

The struggle is real for both child and parent. You will start noticing some behavior challenges (for even the best-behaved kids). Toys will be a thing of the past. They will stop playing with their toys and find more interest in more grown-up activities. In their minds, they still want to “play with toys” but since they are in a more grown up setting, they have the fear of being picked on if anyone found out they still liked playing with toys. Most days, they will come home from school and disappear into their bedroom for a nap or plop on the couch to play video games. Tears will begin when they have had it with being torn down by their classmates all day, every day.


Some Tips on How to Get Through the Twelfth Year

  • Give a TON of affection in the privacy of your own home (don’t embarrass them with hugs around their friends unless THEY initiate).
  • Just love them through it. 
  • Encourage your child to be open in conversation with you. 
  • Ask very pointed questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
  • Play games as a family.
  • Be their biggest cheerleader even if they are annoying the mess out of you!
  • Understand that they are confused with how life seems SO different!
  • Limit video game, TV time. 
  • Allow them to escape for a while to decompress after a hard day.
  • Remind them often how much it hurts to be criticized and encourage them to be the “better kid”.
  • Give consequences for bad behavior.
  • Make a big deal of the not so big deal moments of good behaviors.
  • Keep them active.

12 year old

My son’s friend attends another school. His mom was just telling me last week that he had another 12-year-old tell her child that he didn’t amount to anything and should just kill himself. Kids are MEAN, especially at twelve years old. I am sure that kid didn’t REALLY feel that way about my son’s friend. He is probably struggling and just lashing out at someone else because… well,  he can and it makes him feel better about himself for the moment. 

12 year old

My son needs alone time each day to be able to decompress. He is small for his age and gets picked on often about his size. I know he is far from perfect and says things that hurt other kids feelings but I find that the more confidence he finds in himself, the less he lets their critical comments deter him from being angry. 

12 year old

He loves to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. It is good for him! One of his favorite things is to ride his Razor Power A2 Electric Scooter. Feeling the fresh air as he rides helps him relax in ways that he can only do on his electric scooter. It gives him a freeing feeling. A feeling of independence. A breath of fresh air! It is time to get alone with his thoughts and realize he is better than what the kids at school may have told him during the day. As his mom, I love that he can enjoy some time outside instead of sitting in front of the TV. 

12 year old

About the Razor Power A2 Electric Scooter

The Razor Power A2 Electric Scooter is an upgrade from Razor’s classic kick scooter (The A Scooter), including a compact, foldable, ultra-modern update. The electric scooter has an array of innovative features, including a 22-volt lithium-ion rechargeable battery, a push-button throttle control and a kick-to-start, in-hub electric motor.

12 year old

The push-button, thumb-activated throttle control is designed to kick start the high-torque, lithium-ion battery-powered motor, which in turn, provides the rider with smooth cruising, quick acceleration and a quiet, rattle-free ride.

12 year old

The in-hub electric motor is very low maintenance, with no alignment issues, belts or chains that can result in the scooter owner parking the scooter in the garage or shed. Since the Razor Power A2 Electric Scooter is compact, foldable and lightweight, users can take it on-the-go and safely store it when not in use.

12 year old

Recommended for ages eight and up, the scooter provides riders scooter action at a maximum speed of 10 MPH, with a battery life of up to 40 minutes of continuous ride time.

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38 thoughts on “Why Does It Have to Be So Hard Being a 12 year old

  1. The tween years are tough. I remember them well, and now I’m watching my kids go through them. Even when everything is running smoothly, there’s always something that seems huge and portentous about the future. It can be tough!

  2. I have no children but even if I am not a mother I am very close to the themes of child and teen psychology and I believe that pre-adolescence is the most difficult moment to overcome for parents and children.

  3. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to be a mom when your child goes through adolescence. It’s a hard time both for the children and their parents, and it’s important to exist understanding and love from both sides.

  4. It’s a tough time of adolescence- growing into your own person when constantly surrounded by peer pressure. As long as he has a strong support system at home, he will come out on top.

  5. The tips you show are so valid, kid at that age doesn’t necessary want affection such as hugging in front of their friends. Parenting is really a challenging job and a job we cannot call it quit.

  6. I have a 12 year old kid and it was quite a challenge. he sometimes cant control his emotions thus guidance is very much neede. before him, i had two other 12 years old. my experience with them helped me discipline my tween.

  7. 12 is definitely an interesting age. We’ve only been through it once so far, but I think it’s when most things change.

  8. That is definitely an age that can be a challenge. Not yet a teenager and not feeling like a kid any more. Starting to grow up and learn a whole new set of things for this age. Staying active is definitely a good idea to keep the body and mind healthy.

  9. Twelve is one of those ages isn’t it? So much going on, it really is a challenge. It is so important to encourage conversation with them.

  10. We are a few years away from this stage yet. Mind you my boys are only 4 & 8 but more like going on 13! They keep me on my toes for sure. 🙂

  11. WOW! these are just so powerful words and such a great reminder that our little ones do face difficult situations everyday and that we are here to empower them. I felt love all over this post! thank you for sharing!

  12. My daughter is 12 years old and she was on a stage of being conscious about herself. And she is asking to much question about everything,

  13. Those were really great tips. My daughter is now 12 years old. I can’t believe it. There so many things have changed. This is what I needed

  14. My son just turned thirteen last February and I still can’t believe that I have a teenager son. I do know that I will need a lot of patience for him while he is on the teenage years.

  15. Oh my I am already scared for mine to reach there. My son turns 6 this year and as much as it is a long time to reach 12, I am already fearing what I am in for.

  16. 12 was the age where I started turning into an A-HOLE. hahahaha! By the time I turned 14, I was sent to boarding school. It will be interesting to see how much son acts when he is in his teens. But then again, I can’t even think about that right now because he’s only 3 months old, hahahaha!

  17. That’s right that being a teenager is not an easy time. I even don’t remember how it was like when I was 12 years old. Hope your tips will help some parents in need. 🙂

  18. I dont have kids but i kinda imagine how difficult it is to raise a 12-year-old. Thanks a lot for sharing, love it.

  19. If we get older and older we realize that life is so hard. But in every failure there’s a lesson we can learn and we need to adopt it itself. and those tips will help younger kids how to get through in 12 years old.

  20. You’re so right! Dealing with 12 year olds can be super hectic and requires too much understnding. I will agree that you should be open with them and engage in conversations with them unless you want them to freely explore everythign without minding the consequences.

  21. I do not have kids but I know that 12 is definitely a tricky age! it is good to communicate and understand their mindset.

  22. A really great post for other parents in the same situation. I can still remember being 12 lol and it was a strange period! I think alone time is important for adult and kids, very insightful reading.

  23. That is the age when they change. I promise you it gets easier though! Fool’s Hill is pretty short!

  24. I know I was a difficult kid and I can only imagine how hard it is raising kids. But this is a great post for parents.

  25. I have a 15 years old. This is a great article written by you with some awesome tips there to handle the tweens and you as a parent.

  26. My daughter is just about to turn 13 this year. 12 years old has certainly been an interesting year. In many ways she is coming into her own, which is great.

  27. Great post, I don’t have 12 year old may be in two year I will get one. Thanks for sharing the tips. Yes I am dreaded more than her about teenage life.

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