Biological vs Adoptive
Written by my cousin, Tracy (mother of two, biological and adoptive)
I became a Mom in May 2015 through domestic adoption of a healthy baby girl that we named Jasmine. I became a Mom again in June 2017 by giving birth to a healthy baby boy that we named Colin.
But my road to motherhood started many years ago (as far back as I can remember) when I became a pet Mom. I’ve been an animal lover my whole life and have had dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, and fish. Some people say having a pet will prepare you to have a child. That’s both true and false. While it’s good “practice” to take care of a pet and rewarding to receive the love of a pet, there’s nothing truly like being the mother of a human being (spoiler alert: humans talk back!).
People have asked me if I feel differently about my children, since one was adopted and the other is my biological child. I can honestly say the love I felt for my adopted daughter was immediate as soon as I held her at 2 days old. It’s true that I didn’t have the 9 months of sickness and aches/pains to get attached to her like I did with my biological son. But that made no difference as soon as I held my daughter in my arms and knew she wouldn’t make it in this world without me. My husband and I were solely responsible for loving, nourishing, and raising this child that was entrusted to us. In that aspect, adoption is no different than biology.
Parenthood is hard. So is marriage. But if you continue to strive to do better, both are possible. I have attended seminars on adoption through a local adoption group. I’ve attended parenting seminars held by my children’s school district. I’ve read books and had long discussions with my husband on what is and isn’t working.
My children are now in 7th and 5th grades. They are both thriving; getting good grades at school, participating in sports, and learning to love animals themselves with our house full of rabbits and golden retrievers. I’m a Mom that wears many hats, like most Moms do. The Mom that works hard all day to help pay for everything; the Mom that drives them to activities, cheers them on, helps with homework, takes care of them when they’re sick. It’s all worth it when they say to me “I love you Mom”.
National Adoption Month…
This month, come back each day to read a little more about adoption. I will be sharing stories about our experiences and even have some guest writers who have experienced adoption from all different aspects! I hope to not only bring you “stories” but I hope that you can walk away saying that you are far more educated about adoption. Please be respectful in any comments made below. Remember that not every story is the same and there ARE some out there hurting because of adoption.
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